Both

I reflect on my growth this year. I didn’t know if I would make it to ever find happiness again. I have.

Grief and joy aren't mutually exclusive. They can and do coexist. I find myself tearing up at a memory of DT one minute and laughing about something else the next.

I still have an emptiness and sadness in my spirit. That is what makes the happier moments even that more amazing.

I am learning to be grateful for the smallest things. I have learned to value both the good and difficult moments.

​I have learned to create space for both joy and sadness. It's a radical act of self-love, a way of honoring the life I am still living, while still holding the memory of the life and love I had with DT. It’s recognizing that he would want me to find happiness, to live fully and deeply.

I let myself have moments of laughter. I no longer feel guilty for the smiles that break through the tears. My heart is big enough to hold both the sorrow and the delight.

I have embraced both sadness and joy. It is what had made me feel whole again❤️‍🩹