What Therapy Taught Me
Since losing DT, therapy has been my anchor, but the real work happens in the everyday moments where life tests the tools I’m building.
I’ve started to get clear on where my energy belongs and who deserves a place in this next chapter. I am learning to honor and align with the person I am becoming, not just the person I used to be. But there is a distinct difference between what I’ve learned in therapy and what I’ve learned because of therapy.
Growing up in Flint, my default setting when anxiety spikes has always been "fight." The moment my body senses tension or uncertainty, my defenses go up. Therapy helped me recognize that physical shift—the tightness, the hyper-awareness—but it also taught me that fighting isn't my only choice. "Flight" or simple separation is just as valid. I’m reminded of what my grandmother used to tell me: "The Bible tells us to separate ourselves from people who make us be someone we don't want to be." Fifty years later, that wisdom hits differently. Choosing peace over a conflict isn't backing down; it's protecting my spirit.
What I’ve learned outside of therapy, though, is how to break the mental loops my brain creates when I default to fight mode. Left unchecked, my mind starts mapping out worst-case scenarios until I’m in full panic. The antidote I've discovered? Laughter.
Yesterday was one of those days where everything tried to pull me under. I was overwhelmed by two separate situations completely out of my control, and to top it off, I "lost" my favorite bracelet for the 199th time. My quality engineering mind immediately did what it does best: it built a running inventory of every other potential failure mode waiting around the corner. Within minutes, I had engineered my way into physical nausea and near-tears over things that hadn't even happened.
Then my friend stepped in.
Instead of letting me spiral, he injected sheer, unadulterated laughter into the conversation. He reminded me of a moment when my nephew shut down a chaotic situation with his own colorful delivery, declaring his total unavailability because he was attending a "strong brunch."
The mental image hit me, and the tension snapped. I went from the brink of tears to immediate, full-belly laughter.
Just like that, the air cleared. The world became lighter and much easier to navigate. And, right on cue… I found my bracelet.
It’s funny how that works. When my mind gets calm, the world around me seems to calm down with it. As my mama used to say, sometimes you just have to "theraparize" yourself 😂🤣😂
Just take a breath, choose peace, and let laughter bring you back home to yourself.
