Re-birth
There is a version of my life that exists entirely before DT’s transition, and a version that exists after. For a long time, I viewed that boundary line only through the lens of pure loss. But as time has carried me forward, I’ve come to realize something profound, something heavy but incredibly beautiful: DT’s transition didn’t just mark an end. It started the quiet, painful, and necessary process of my own re-birth.
For most of my life, I walked around carrying an invisible cape. I was the ultimate fixer. The savior. The person everyone called when their world was falling apart, because they knew I would stretch myself thin to patch up their holes. I wore that identity like a badge of honor, thinking my worth was tied to how much of myself I could give away to keep others afloat.
But when my world shattered into a million pieces, I quickly realized that I can't fix a tragedy, and I certainly can't save everyone else while I was drowning.
That was the turning point. I had to finally look in the mirror and face the young woman I used to be—the one who carried so much unhealed hurt, buried pain, and silent struggles. For years, I carried her trauma around like a heavy suitcase I was too afraid to unpack. But through this re-birth, I stopped running from her. Instead, I sat down with her. I held her hand. And for the first time in my life, I thanked her.
I thanked her for surviving. I appreciated her resilience, her grit, and the fierce way she protected me until I was ready to stand on my own two feet. Because of her, I am the woman I am today.
Lately, my life has been about learning how to love me more. Truly, deeply, and without apology. And do you want to know the most liberating thing I’ve discovered on this journey?
The word NO.
I used to think "no" was a selfish word, a door slammed in someone's face. Now I know that "no" is a boundary. It’s a complete sentence. Saying no to things that drain my peace, no to one-sided expectations, and no to the role of the perpetual savior has been the most freeing experience of my life. Every time I say no to something that doesn't serve my spirit, I am saying a resounding yes to myself.
I am still evolving, still putting the pieces of this new version of me together. But I am no longer fixing everyone else's problems at the expense of my own soul. I am stepping into my light, honoring my journey, and finally giving myself the love I so freely gave to the rest of the world.
